Furthermore, I’ve decided one of our main jobs over here is to be amateur ambassadors. I feel like I’m constantly battling the ideas that have been published and shown in the movies. The questions my students ask are so funny and sometimes give insight to all the staring I mentioned last time. ~ “No, every American does not carry or own a gun.” “No, all Americans are not rich.” “No, Americans don’t love war and killing people.”

The American Culture class I taught this semester was a 10-week attempt at portraying the true skinny of “normal Americans” ~ heritage, core values, diversity, religion, education, leisure activities, family, etc. In an effort to make their finals more enjoyable to grade, I included two special questions  to see if my diplomatic effort had done any good for foreign relations. You be the judge.

Various real-life answers to the following essay questions: How has your opinion of Americans changed after having an American teacher? How has your opinion of America changed after having this class on its culture?

(Disclaimer: I did not correct grammar or spelling on purpose. Their compositions are indicative of their ESL levels. ~ I may be biased, but I think most did fairly well at expressing their feelings.)

"Now I feel Americans are also very friendly not very dangerous. They are easy-going but very strict on certain things such as exams. Before this class, even though I know something about the American culture, but just a little. For example, before, from the TV I know the Americans are very independent, but I don’t know why. Now I know it’s based on their value."

"I thought Americans were very tall and strong before this class, but, to my surprise, Linda is very short and isn’t strong at all. I find the Americans were not very bad as I thought before they are friendly and fun."

"In my opinon, America used to be ambitious and sensitive. But now I know the American is the same to us. They are humorous, independent and friendly."

"Having an American teacher made me know: the foreign people in America are same as us. It make me know American must be a country that the people in it are very interesting and tall.

"In the first, I consider the Americans don’t have much ability and is not easy to communicate but now I know they are all kind. They have much knowledge and they love peace, most of them are expressive and willing to be friends. They are respecting and respectable.

"Yes, I thought the girls in American were as tall as boys, but now I find I was wrong. But they are very beautiful and kind. I’m very happy to have an American teacher.

"I usually though Americans were always tall and fat. They like war but Linda said she also hate war and she is small and skin. So when I say her at the first time, I knew I was wrong.

"Americans are not so strange as I ever think. They are active, friendly and we can make friends with them if we want.

So there you have it. That is why people stare…some think we are a whole different species. They just need to see us as people who live, eat, breathe and have feelings. It’s all in a day’s work. I know it's scary to think about several hundred Chinese basing their opinions of America on me, but I really am trying to be on my best behavior:). ~ Incidentally, I’m quite certain the flattery is a stab at getting a higher grade ;).

Two recent stories before I close:

On Wednesday evenings, I go by foot or bike to the neighboring university. On my way home last week, three young men on a motorcycle passed me. The back passenger must have realized I was different, because he turned around to get a good look. Unfortunately, darkness and a small hill between us blocked his view. As I topped the knoll, I see the curious one from the back walking towards me. The other two were inspecting the motorcycle as if to locate a problem. I say “as if” because it was all just a ploy in order to catch another look at the lao wai (foreigner). As soon as I passed, they hopped back on the bike and passed with three hellos and school-girlish giggles. ~ I had no idea I was so funny! :)

The following day, I had some of my Oral students over for extra English discussion time. They are all eager learners and pretty fun to be around. Last week in particular, they were in rare form...we covered most thinkable topics and some shockers. The following is the most humorous: Newton , who wants to be a famous scientist, said, “Linda, we all think you look like a film actress.” ~ I cracked up! Never heard that one before. Doubt I’ll ever hear it again:).

I have done this more than I like over the last few years, so I guess I have some experience at it now. New roads, new grocery stores, new buses, new weather can all be learned but new friends and neighbors must be met, relationships developed, trust earned. This is the tricky part. It is never easy, but all bets are off when you look nothing like those surrounding you. There is no way to “blend in”, “become one of the crowd” or “move in slowly”. EVERYONE notices I am here. So, how does one overcome this and break the ice in a new land? Smiles ~ yes. “Hello. How are you?” ~ Sure. But for me, in this city, even this did not work. I smiled and said “Ni hao” to my neighbors for weeks but didn’t really feel like I was getting anywhere. The grocery and market vendors were still nudging each other, giggling and pointing when they saw me a month after my arrival.

Enter Plan B ~ damsel in distress. Now, those of you who know me well are thinking, “What”? I know, it shocked even me and perhaps that is why it’s taken me so long to tell you about it. Honestly, the first two occurrences were unplanned, but the result was so good I admit that I have embraced it a few more times.

#1 happened on a sunny Sunday afternoon in October. My old friend, Johnny, was up from Changsha on business. He called early in the morning, so I finished getting ready and ran out the door. We went over to another school for a meeting and then stayed afterwards to eat and fellowship. It was a great day, introducting an old friend to new ones. When Johnny had to take care of some business before heading home, I came back to change for a long run. When I got to my apartment, I realized I did not have my keys. I wasn’t sure what to do. I could not remember if I had taken them with me or not. Brett had a set, for this very reason, but he was out of town. I was just wondering what I was going to do when one of my neighbors came downstairs and offered to let me into the building (we have a security door to the stairwell). I thanked him but explained that I did not have any of my keys. He called up to his daughter to translate. I know more Chinese than she knows English but the more the merrier, right? To make a long story short, this man climbed the 12 foot wall to my patio and kicked down my back door. Then, he brought down his tools to repair the busted lock! By this time, there were quite a few people involved, so I felt pretty silly but very thankful for this family. From then on, we have exchanged big smiles and brief chatter.

#2 actually happened later that same week. Heather’s university was having a basketball tournament, so several of us went out to watch. I went alone in a taxi with some very sketchy directions. I thought, “My Chinese isn’t too bad, I’ll try this.”  Was I in for a fiasco! The taxi driver thought I was real cute until he couldn’t figure out where to take me. He finally dropped me off and told me I was in the area to find it myself! So, I approached a security guard for directions. He looked at me and started asking everyone around us if they spoke English. I told him I spoke Putonghua (Mandarin), but he insisted on finding someone to translate. Finally, a young man riding by on his bicycle said, “yi dian dian”, which means "a little". I spoke slowly and told him the English name of the school for which I was looking. He said, “that is my school. I am going there now. Do you want a ride?” ~ There are small metal racks on the back of all bicycles. I’ve seen a lot of people ride this way but never understood how. ~ Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have accepted, but he said it was a long walk and seemed harmless enough. So, I embraced the culture and rode “side saddle” on the back of this stranger’s bicycle for a good 3 miles, hanging on to his waist and laughing the whole time. He dropped me off at the basketball stadium, and I went into find my friends. As soon as I saw Heather, she said, “Are you all right?” I laughed and said, “Have I got a funny story for you!” ~ I woke up the next morning with a very sore stomach from trying to keep from falling off that bike. The people who do this on a regular basis must have great abs.

There has never been another break in or need to hitch hike on a bicycle, but I have used lots of smiles, jokes and sarcasm to break the stares on people’s faces. I read an article about the different kinds of stare-ers in China . The author’s description captured them quite well, so I want to share the gist with you. #1 is the “friendly stare-er”. He or she usually stops after receiving a smile or “hello”. #2 is the “fearful stare-er”. This shy Chinese person looks away if they realize you notice but tries to steal another peak asap. This can go on for the entire length of a bus ride or trip to a shop, which is funny….for awhile. I usually try to stop the madness by saying something clever or hiding behind someone else. Last but not least is the “angry stare-er”, who stares without any emotion and sometimes even a frown. Reuben Davis deemed this the stone face years ago. This is by far the least common and most annoying. Breaking the stare can be a fun game on a good China day and be the final straw on a difficult China day.

Well, that’s all for this installment of my life in the Middle Kingdom. I hope you are having a great Memorial Day.

Unfortunately, most of the world is probably not able to focus on the energy and renewal of the season. With the war in Iraq and the SARS outbreak, you might be wondering how things are in Wuhan . I thank you for your concern! Rest assured, I am safe and healthy. Honestly, the first couple weeks of war were a little tense. Many people want to talk about it. Let me correct that by saying many want to tell me their opinion, which is usually a passionate disapproval, but I stick to my no politics rule unless I know the person well. Aside from the fact that war is an emotional topic, U.S. news is quite different than the local reports. It’s hard to have a conversation about current events when the parties involved have heard very different information. For the most part, people respect my request and leave it alone. However, there are a few strangers every week (like the milkman yesterday) that burst into hostile chatter when they see me. Those comments are a little hard to ignore but knowing the news difference helps me turn a deaf ear. I have also noticed that most strangers are not excited to hear I am an American like they were before. ~ In relation to the war, these inconveniences are minuscule, and I hope they will stay that way.

As for SARS, there have been no cases reported in Wuhan yet. Thank Goodness! I am an overnight train ride from both Beijing and Guangzhou/Hong Kong, so we are a little concerned and trying to keep abreast of the findings. Unfortunately, the local news isn’t saying a whole lot, but the embassy sends regular updates and information about precautionary measures. If I mention it to a local, they insist that it isn’t “so serious,” so it is obvious news reports at home and here are different about this issue as well. ~ Our spring break is in a few weeks, so I’m thinking about whether to travel or not and where if I do.

Some side information ~ The spring semester in China begins after a month long holiday around the lunar new year, which was February 1st this year. The second week of the month, we heard that the semester would begin on February 17th. Neither Brett nor I had our class schedules yet, so we thought our classes would probably begin the second week. We thought wrong…

Conversation with Gavin ~ Around 11:00 a.m. on February 14th, I receive a call from our translator to say that all the English teachers have a meeting that day. “When is it Gavin?” I ask. “Right now. Can you come?” he says. I had been cleaning all morning and still needed to shower before heading out for some holiday plans. Plus, we are trying to convince them to give us advanced notice, so, I told him I could not attend. He said, “Doesn’t matter. It isn’t so important. I just want to give you your teaching schedule.” (One might think we would have received this before the previous semester ended, but that’s illogical at WUST.) “Linda, there is something very interesting here. Did you know you are going to teach American and British Culture? I think that’s a surprise to me, but that you must know this,” Gavin says. “No, Gavin. No one has told me that. When does this course begin?” “Next week,” he says. Though I had been on campus for two weeks, no one had contacted me about the meeting or my schedule. The short notice was a bit irritating, because I am one of these strange people who like to prepare for tasks. I asked how many students would be in the class. “Well, the classes are quite large, maybe more than 200 in each one. I think that is also a surprise.” “Is there a textbook for this class?” “No, I don’t think you will need a textbook.” (More irritation) “Do I have multi-media access?” “Yes.” (Finally, some good news!) “OK Gavin, I will need some more information as soon as possible, but I must get ready to go now.”

“No meeting, no schedule” ~ Unfortunately, February 15th is a holiday in China , so I had to wait till Sunday to call the head of the department. When I did, he was all but helpful, and the phone conversation was quite unpleasant. (I was actually on the verge of tears by the end.) He brought out the kitchen sink instead of answering my questions about the schedule. He was very irritated that I had not gone to the seemingly last-minute meeting on Friday. “Every teacher knows they must attend a meeting the day before the semester begins,” he said. “ Pei lao shi, this teacher did not know that. This is my first year here.”  (Of course, it never dawned on him to tell us about the meeting before it started.) And, he was irritated because of … from last semester. After much see-sawing over the same issues, he refused to give me any details of my schedule or goals for the culture class. To top it off, he ended with an assault on my character because of my nationality. By this point, my temper was flared and my tongue loose, so I told him they should not have American teachers if he disliked us so much. I called the foreign affairs office to get someone else involved, because I felt that I really needed some information before it was time to go to class. This saga dragged on for a couple more hours, but Mr. Pei did finally arrive with his boss to give me my schedule. Unfortunately, we had started a meeting inside by that time, so we had to talk out in the hall.

Getting the scoop ~ I requested a meeting for the next day and we were able to iron out the course goals and textbook. In addition, he insisted that his political comment was not meant as an insult and we agreed to try to communicate better. Bennie was here the following week and tried to reinforce that with him as well. ~ Besides the three monstrous sections of American Culture (I declined the British portion since I have never been there), I have three Oral English classes this semester. The culture classes are only ten weeks long, so I will start teaching the English teachers and two other Orals after spring break. Thankfully, the meeting times for the new classes will be a lot more desirable. I currently teach until 6 pm on Thursday and Friday and have to psyche myself to do so instead of enjoying the spring weather.

The day the lights were out ~ Just this week, the electricity was turned off on campus. At first, I was really disappointed because I have an electric water heater. I thought a shower was out of the question, and I needed one to help me wake up. Fortunately, there was enough hot water left in the tank, so I was able to smell good for class. You might be thinking it is impossible to have class without electricity. Not here. There are big windows in all the classrooms, so you just teach by sunlight. However, the clouds covered it up Friday afternoon, so my 2-6pm classes were pretty dark. By the end of the day, I felt like I could hardly see the students let alone them see the chalkboard. Most of the afternoon, I had to hold back giggles from the thought of it all and how I could have never imagined teaching in the dark five years ago. I mean, we would cancel class over such a silly thing at HU.

Hands down, this teaching assignment has been a crash course back into the culture. Just when I think “I get China ”, something throws me for a loop. There are many politics and expectations involved that I often do not understand or handle well. My frustration level was so high at the beginning of the semester. All I could think was “Thank goodness the students showed up for the first day of class!” Many may never consider that triumphant, but I do:). ~ I tell you, “Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff” and “Be thankful for the small things in life” take on a whole new meaning!  

A bachelor lived here last year, so the place needed a feminine touch. He was kind enough to leave me a few dishes along with an indoor basketball goal and punching bag. Though I enjoyed the work out a few times, I’ve since donated the latter to another foreign teacher. I have no doubt he’ll be a better steward of the gift than I. The spare room felt a bit empty for a few days after the purge, but it is still parking for my bike, a chair, the desk and ironing board. I bought several plants and hung some maps to start decorating. I’m sure it will be a work in progress for many months. I’ve gotten clearance to paint but am having trouble finding a place that will mix the color I want. (Most Chinese like to leave the walls white.) If only Trading Spaces would cross the sea for an episode!

The bathroom is the most Chinese part of the interior. I have a western toilet and sink but the shower and hot water heater are mounted on the wall above the toilet. The washing machine also drains onto the same spot. This conveniently saves plumbing, space and the floor gets a bath every day! There is no hot water for the washer or kitchen sink, so I transport it in plastic tubs for dishes and laundry.

The back yard is not your standard one with trees, grass or anything green. In fact, it’s all concrete and doubles as my dryer. I enjoy spending sunny afternoon xiu xi (naptime) out there. I hope to make it more garden-like after the winter freeze.

I plan to get an extra bed for the spare room, so please do drop in when you are in the neighborhood!

Confused but optimistic, I thought there must be an explanation. Perhaps my students were those sitting quietly next door. So, I popped in and said, “Is this Oral English?” All eyes were on me, but no one responded. I tried again and spoke slower, “Is this an Oral English Class?” Nothing. I had heard the students could not speak English very well, but this they should know. The task at hand seemed larger than I had expected. One more try: “Are you expecting me?” At last, a student said, “Yes!” Ah, someone did understand, and this is my class! As I started to put my tote down, a girl came up and started talking to me. In perfect English, she said, “I am an Accounting teacher. This is my class.” Totally baffled and a bit embarrassed, I apologized and left in haste for the Foreign Affairs Office. No one was there yet, so I headed to the English Department. No one there either. I’m beginning to think this is some big joke. I found some ladies in the Accounting Office across the hall and asked if they had seen Mr. Pei yet (head of English Dept.). With charades and broken Chinese, I told them what happened. They found him at home eating breakfast. He came immediately and said there must have been a mistake. ~ Welcome to China! Apparently, the school was so excited to have me they forgot to notify the students. We leave all things familiar, fly around the world to teach, and the school does not even take care of the simple task of telling the students they have an oral English class with an American teacher. ~ For the next two hours, we went to this concerned person and that concerned person to solidify the arrangements. Though doubtful I would have students, I headed back over to 2-202 for the 10:10 class. Surprisingly enough some of the students came on such short notice. The classroom was still locked, so we found another.

I have taught three weeks now and think I am finally getting back into the groove. Many students are often so shy they will not speak. It’s like pulling teeth to get them to voluntarily participate, but some are getting better. I have over 250 students spread out over seven two-hour classes. I hope to learn all of their names, but it’s difficult when you only see them once a week. I plan to try lots of different activities to help them relax enough to actually speak.

Their English names are probably the funniest part of the first day of class. I am not sure where they get them, but they are colorful. This year, many of my students did not have English names, so I let them pick out of a book or I named them after you, my friends and family. However, I want to leave you with a list of some who picked their own in case you need help naming your next child (it is a bit lop-sided because I have mostly male students):

Boys ~ Peda, Cerfy, Fily, Clock, Vaux, Jan, Zernick, Habit, Blue Sky, Winning, Emil Jun, Snoopy, Wiesel, Marko, Poet, Monkey, Ginon, Rainbow, Lemon-Taylor, Dragon, Bayern, Rafter, Allern, Kiny, Lonman, Lion King, Joy Sullivan, Renny, Milko, Jercy, and Vision.

Girls ~ Cavern, Sunshine, Sand, Snowly, Honey-Stone, Sari, Maple, and Jade.